Welcome to
It Starts With ATTRACTION
Revealing secrets on how to become the most attractive you can be Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally and Spiritually (or as us insiders call it...the PIES). Listen to weekly episodes.
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Referenced in this Episode 👀
Marriage Helper Couples Workshop: https://bit.ly/3PPVE1C
Stop Trying To Fix Your Marriage Fast: https://youtu.be/GxRUPCSELq8
Submit Your Questions for the Q&A Segment: https://bit.ly/3Tv4287
Save My Marriage Course Waitlist: https://bit.ly/3RBHr9n
Most people try to reconnect by talking about the relationship.
That's exactly why it doesn't work.
You sit them down. You bring up the distance. You ask them how they're feeling. And they shut down harder than before.
I did that with my husband for years. Coffee. Serious face. ”Can we talk about us?” It never once went the way I hoped.
What finally worked was something much smaller.
In this episode, I walk through the three steps I used to reconnect with my husband ten years ago. It's also the same three steps I just used with my 11 year old daughter.
Step one. Make intentional time. Not them. You. If you're the one who sees the gap, you're the one who takes the first step to close it. That means putting down the thing that pulls you away. The phone. The work. The hobby. Whatever it is for you.
Step two. Get interested in what they're interested in. Not what you wish they cared about. Not what you want to do together. What lights them up. People who don't feel safe talking about their fears will still talk for an hour about the thing they love.
Step three. Start with something fun so it can go somewhere deep. Laughter comes before honesty. Safety comes before vulnerability. You cannot skip to the hard conversation and expect them to meet you there.
For me and my daughter, it was nachos and the World Cup. For me and my husband, it was Renaissance festivals and a shooting range.
It works in every relationship. Marriage. Kids. Anyone you've drifted from.
If the connection is weak, you move closer to the source.
Also in this episode: I answer three of your questions, including what to do when your spouse distrusts therapy, how to reconcile when you no longer share the same view of marriage, and what to do when you're doing all the work alone and running out of steam. Then we read Psalm 73 together in Study Scripture With Me, and I take on the Hot Seat while holding a wall sit longer than I should have.
Walk. Don't run. There is still hope.
I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of ”fine.”
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Thursday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com
🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
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What are the PIES of Attraction?

P is for Physical Attraction

I is for Intellectual Attraction

E is for Emotional Attraction

S is for Spiritual Attraction
